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Joskin Needs A Girlfriend – Part 1

Joskin Needs A Girlfriend. Yup, Momma is waiting on grandchildren! Here’s a hilarious vignette. Just think, you could be part of this hilarious roleplay awaiting Joskin…

Category: Towns
Topic: Icemule Trace

Date: 09/06/2018 03:00 PM PDT
From: VICIMER
Subj: Joskin Needs a Girlfriend! Part 1

Joskin paced around the courtyard of White Haven, a rainbow bundle of nerves and energy. This was no good. No good at at all! He had to calm down! But a tart didn’t work, and a cigar didn’t work, and a drink from the bar didn’t work. So what would? He was simply out of ideas. His penguin familiar took to tobogganing behind him to amuse itself. It wasn’t quite as funny when Joskin stopped for a moment and nearly ended up going tart over kiln by his own familiar! He rubbed his hands, stood his ground, and did the only thing he could.

“Motherrrrrrrr!” he whined into the air.

It was last night when he joined his mother for a delicious dinner at her house, up near Enchantment Alley. She didn’t like to go out much these days, so he went to her. And she was still a very good cook! It’s a win-win for everyone. He still needed to get her secret recipe she promised she’d give him. And he was enjoying a lovely meat pie when…

“Luciana’s daughter gave birth last week,” Mother said softly.

“Oh, how wonderful!” Joskin managed to say around a mouthful of dinner. “I should visit!”

“She would like that,” Mother said. “This is Luciana’s first grandchild. I was with her and she told me how excited she was to be a grandmother finally.” Joskin nodded. Yes. Being a grandparent seemed super fun. Old, but fun! “And I am excited for her. But it also made me a little sad.”

Joskin frowned. “What do you have to be sad for? She’s happy!”

“Yes, she is. But I don’t get to be a grandparent. And I don’t know when I will be.” Joskin stopped chewing. Why was she saying this? “Joskin, dear,” she laid her hand on his. “When will you settle down? It is past time for you to marry and start your own family.”

Joskin’s lips worked wordlessly. “I… I… women…”

Her mother smiled at him in that way only she could. “Oh, I know you get attention from all the bachelorettes in town, especially after running for mayor!” Joskin could only manage a weak “yes” in reply. “I want you to be happy. I want you to be respectable. I have been here hoping you have news for me, but I am getting tired of waiting. It is time.”

“Time,” Joskin whispered from another dimension. He blinked and saw stars. He hadn’t been this disoriented since that time he accidentally walked through a vortex in the Rift. Was this a prank? Did Kittai cast an illusion spell and pretend to be his mother? He rubbed his face to make sure it was still there, still real. Was this pie poisoned? His feet felt like they were made of lead. He couldn’t move. The walls were closing in!

Mother paid no attention to Joskin’s slow death. “A friend of mine has a daughter who would like to meet you. She’ll be over for dinner next week. Don’t worry, I’ll cook.” That’s it. The ceiling just fell and crushed him and his penguin and everything else. He was pretty sure his mother just told him he set him up on a blind date at HER house with a meal SHE was making. But that was totally not true! No mother would do that to her adult son! Joskin decided right there at that moment the afterlife was weird and he wanted no part of it and please Lorminstra bring him back to life and he’s sorry for whatever he did to deserve this and promise not to do it again?

The dizziness passed. He was back in White Haven. Later, his mother assured him he was not under any enchantment spell and this girl was really quite nice and she’ll make a very good supper for them both. He tried not to wheeze. Yes, of course it would be nice to have someone to give that box of chocolates he’s been keeping in storage… He shivered. Could he pretend to have a girlfriend already? Would that work? No, no, don’t lie to your mother. That’s a bad idea. There had to be a way out of this.

At that moment, he realized this was going to be more painful than anything Daukhera had ever done to him.

**********************
A quick flick of Wyrom’s wrist sends a dagger into flight!
The thorny barrier surrounding you blocks Wyrom’s attack!
One of the vines surrounding you lashes out at Wyrom, driving a thorn into his skin! Wyrom flinches slightly.

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